Ray, Ray, Go Away

Ok, I promised myself I would not do this. I said I would not use this blog as a forum for bashing, hating, or rambling on. But, I can't take it anymore. I must use this to vent in some manner before I explode. Writing helps me get it all off my chest and mind. So, I basically feel like I would be doing the world of blog readers a disservice by not capturing what is reeling around in my head right now. I would also like to be able to fall asleep before 3 am, so I think that for my own health I must. So I begin...
No other two nouns in the whole history of human nature bring to mind such seizure inducing, nauseating pains as the two I'm about to mutter (children and the elderly may want to stop reading now), Rachel Ray. Now I know that there are websites for this type of banter, I hate Rachel Ray, for one. But, I just need to speak my piece on my own little slice of the world wide web.
I just don't get it. Why? Why is America so obsessed with this cherubic faced, husky voiced, horrible acronym creating, now celebrity? Everywhere you turn America is just vomiting her up, and I, for one, do not have a sympathetic stomach.
I get it. She came from nothing, fought her way up the food and television ladder. However, if I would have seen her coming, I would have kicked said ladder right to the ground without hesitating even for a second.
There was a time you could just simply change the channel if you weren't interested in spending an eternity (aka, 30 minutes) listening to her sophomoric little quips on life. Now, you can't even drive down the interstate without being bombarded by her presence. She is everywhere! On billboards, on posters, on cracker boxes, on magazines, on books, on tv, on the radio... I'm actually waiting to open the door of my van one day and have her pop out of the hidden fridge.
I think the worst part of RaRay is, well lets be honest here, parts of RaRay are: A. She has an annoying nickname (and you thought TomKat and LiLo were bad). B. She hasn't really changed her hair or clothing style since 1986. And the most dreaded of all, C. She has created the monster that is Rayisms.
For those of you that have been living in a cult in the middle of Kansas, Nebraska, Utah, etc. and don't know Rayisms, let me explain a few. EVOO, Extra Virgin Olive Oil. STOUP, cross of stew and soup. YUMM-O, super annoying, childish way to say delicious. SAMMIES, what our parents used to call sandwiches when they were talking to us at the ripe old age of five. I could understand if she was doing a show for the local KinderCare, but we are adults. Please learn to speak to us on at least an 18 year old level.
I understand that her shows are designed for the average housewife, husband, or even college student. I get that my level of knowledge of the food industry far exceeds most that watch her. I know full well that if you are a friend of Oprah's you can get away with anything you want. But, at least, lets have the common courtesy to tip in a decent manner. If you don't get what I'm saying, turn on her show, $40 A Day. Her average tip amount here is a whopping ten percent. I think that someone forgot to let her know that she is one of the highest paid food celebrities out there. Maybe if she figures it out, she'll lay off a bit. Or, if all the heavens align, retire. I think it's about time!